On the death of Dr. Wayne Dyer:
The purpose of life is to be happy. I don’t think it’s any more complicated than that. It’s also important not to interfere with anybody else’s right to do the same.
We just need to practice that. It’s the Golden Rule. But most people have a different golden rule—that they, as the gold, make the rule. That’s what they think the Golden Rule is, and so they revere money and power and all of that.
But just the ability to be content—to be in a state of bliss, to enjoy life—is all any of us want, really. You can’t accumulate anything, because anything you get you have to give away. We all know this. We watch our bodies go through the aging process. We know we came in here with nothing, and we know we’re going to leave with nothing. There’s nothing to own. There’s nothing to get.
The only thing you can do with your life is give it away. The best, happiest moments in your life are always when you’re giving something away.* -Wayne Dyer
Following is a video of one of the many tributes to Dr. Dyer, this one, the first from Hay House: his publisher, radio station, and in his own words, second family.
I would love for you at a minimum, to watch the “butterfly story” Wayne delivers re: the cover of his 2006 book Inspiration, Your Ultimate Calling – it’s a hoot, and very thought provoking. (~1:39:35) Alternatively, Wayne passed on August 30th: listen to him tell a heartfelt and inspirational tale about, ironically, this same date many years earlier which became THE pivotal point that took him from becoming a tenured professor, to completely spontaneously writing his first book Your Erroneous Zones and finding his purpose – and our great teacher! (~17:15)
Speakerwise, the presenters are all very entertaining, sharing personal anecdotes from the area of Wayne’s work that inspired their own journeys: quite a variety. My personal fave is probably Caroline Myss. Here are some time cues (relationship hints are in brackets):
Start: Reid Tracy (Hay House president Wayne’s bff)
17:15 Importance of Aug 30; Wayne’s last recorded seminar, in Australia
33:27 Marianne Williamson (fellow author, speaker; spiritual leader, activist; A Course in Miracles)
42:22 Nancy Levin (former Hay House event manager; fellow author, coach, speaker)
52:00 Anita Moorjani (Dying to Be Me author Wayne discovered; near death, consciousness)
1:07:20 Bruce Lipton (developmental biologist, biology of belief and thoughts; fellow speaker, author)
1:21:12 Caroline Myss (fellow author, speaker; human consciousness, spirituality; Wayne coveted her wisdom, loved her bluntness!)
1:39:35 butterfly story
1:58:28 Nick Ortner (Wayne was his mentor; Tapping Solution)
2:12:42 Cheryl Richardson (fellow life coach, author, speaker)
2:28:18 Wayne’s Kids and Song by Daughter Skye
(Hitting arrow on the video may bounce you to onedrive where you can watch or download it.)
Interviewer, Hemachandra: Given that you’ll likely reach people who have never encountered your work before in books, online, or even in your public-television specials, did you conceive of a specific message you wanted to impart to this unique audience, beyond a broader introduction to metaphysical principles and teachings?
Dyer: Yes, I did. The message is don’t die with your music still in you.
You came here with something to do. You are part of a universal consciousness, and there are no accidents in it. In your true essence—not the false self, not the ego part of you, but in the true essence of who you are—you are infinite and you have something very profound to accomplish while you’re here. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
Find it. Pay attention to it. Listen to the callings. See the clues, the cues. See the alignments, whatever they might be, no matter how absurd or bizarre they might seem to everyone around you. Ignore their concerns. Fulfilling your duties is one thing, but if you have a calling inside that says there’s also something else, don’t ignore that.
Don’t die with your music still in you. Don’t die with your purpose unfulfilled. Don’t die feeling as if your life has been wrong. Don’t let that happen to you. That’s the bigger message.* -Wayne Dyer
Re: post First Confession:
the meaning of life is to find your own meaning.
challenging the meaning of life is the truest expression of the state of being human. – unknown
the meaning of life is just to be alive. it is so plain and so obvious and so simple. and yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves. – Alan Watts
many people die at 25, and are not buried until they are 75.
– ben franklin
when a bird is alive,
it eats ants.
when the bird is dead,
the ants eat it.
no one knows how much time we have on this earth. what is left in the end are your actions, the memories you left behind and the way you made people feel. and what you want to leave behind is people who remember you with love.
– brigitte nicole
the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. -joseph campbell
if you contribute to other people’s happiness,
you will find the true goal,
the true meaning of life.
– dalai lama
death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. norman cousins
death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it. -haruki murakami
life becomes livable only to the extent that death is treated as a friend, never as an enemy. -gandhi
death is the last intimate thing
we ever do. -laurelle hamilton
Daniel Goleman is probably the best know popular author of info on EQ with his book: Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Here are some of his notable quotes, and a few from others whom he quoted in his book!
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
“Fear, in evolution, has a special prominence: perhaps more than any other emotion it is crucial for survival.”
“There is zero correlation between IQ and emotional empathy…
They’re controlled by different parts of the brain.”
“Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike.”
“Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
“People tend to become more emotionally intelligent as they age and mature.”
“Companies in the East put a lot more emphasis on human relationships, while those from the West focus on the product, the bottom line. Westerners appear to have more of a need for achievement, while in the East there’s more need for affiliation.”
“We transmit and catch moods from each other in what amounts to a subterranean economy of the psyche in which some encounters are toxic, some nourishing.”
“Anyone can become angry —that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way —this is not easy. ARISTOTLE, The Nicomachean Ethics”
“Teachers need to be comfortable talking about feelings. This is part of teaching emotional literacy – a set of skills we can all develop, including the ability to read, understand, and respond appropriately to one’s own emotions and the emotions of others.”
“The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain.”
“When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really distressing, incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes life rich. You need your passions.”
With Valentines day in mind, and to relate to the Jan/Feb blog re: highly sensitive people and how some folks are closed-minded or fearful to entertain that there are other operating-manuals in life other than the one they came with, this letter to perfectionists is a general appeal to respect and meet people where they are in life rather than judge. Hey, you just might learn something!
A Love Letter to Perfectionists
by Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating
Perfectionism can often inspire us to be our best, rise to the occasion, and do good things in the world. But perfectionism can have a dark side to it. And this dark side often remains unknown and unseen to most perfectionists. This way of being can cause us to contract from life, to be less available personally and emotionally to others, and in the worst case, it can create self hatred or even self abuse. The good news is, perfectionists simply need a little love.
Now maybe the best way to go about speaking to my perfectionist friends is by a love letter. That’s in part because perfectionists are secretly very vulnerable to any kind of criticism, and since it’s actually so hard to be perfect, you guys can get just a little uptight sometimes. And who doesn’t like a love letter? So here goes:
Cue the music please….
I’m excited to read this love letter to you. Please forgive me, because it’s not going to be perfect, and I know you have some pretty high standards. I’m doing my best, so please don’t judge me as harshly as you judge yourself. I know you want the ideal body, and you want to control your food intake with exquisite military precision. I love how you’re willing to work so hard to achieve your perfect results, even though you want everyone to think that it all came naturally, and for some reason, you’re just never hungry and don’t need to eat much. I think it’s charming how whenever we go out to dinner, you’re totally satisfied with just lettuce – it’s so great how you’re just born that way.
On a side note, you’re a great person to hire for a job because you want to do things right and can’t stand making even the littlest mistakes. It’s so sweet to watch how you crumble whenever your self-esteem is rattled in any way. And to hear the excuses you make whenever you don’t do something perfectly – it’s so creative, even though we know you’re secretly panicking.
It’s especially encouraging to watch you when you’re on a roll, and you really ARE doing things perfectly. You’re so proud of yourself, so strong and powerful, even if you do get just a little arrogant about it. But you’ve kind of earned it because, well, you’re being so perfect. And then to watch your inevitable crash from your perfect eating, or to see you crumble when you weigh yourself and put on the monstrous, evil amount of one pound – well it’s just so unexpected and fascinating how you can swing from such highs to such lows. It’s better than any reality TV show.
Now, I just want to let you know how much we all care about you, and I know it’s not easy being you. In fact, it’s hard work, and you deserve a big hug because this perfectionism thing is a full time job, in addition to your real job in life and all the other things you have to do. I wish you could get paid for all the time and energy you put into being perfect. You could buy all kinds of really nice clothes that you can someday fit into when you’re REALLY perfect.
But what I want to say most to you dear perfectionist, is that I miss you. We all miss you. That’s because when you focus so much of your life force on being perfect, you forget about us. We don’t have ALL of you. You might think that you’re showing up fully, but we feel how absent you are. It’s as if you love trying to be perfect more than you love us. It’s just the way the rest of us feel. That’s why we get so frustrated with you sometimes. And you actually don’t even notice this because you’re so busy trying to be perfect.
And by the way, we’re not waiting for you to be perfect – we just want you to be happy now. And it’s so hard for us when we watch how you punish yourself when you’re not perfect. We know what you’re doing. You get real mean with yourself, you get cranky with us, and your light gets a little dim. We know you’re not perfect. So what. Neither are we. It’s ok. I hope you realize that it hurts when you hold US to YOUR high perfectionist standards. But it actually hurts us more when you attack yourself because you can’t live up to your own impossible ideals.
So dear perfectionist, please just let it go. Stop the nonsense and love yourself already. It’s kind of silly, and we love you for who you are. Life is short. Join the club of all of us imperfect humans who get a bit messy now and then. It’s actually way more fun. We can’t wait to have you back.